808s & Heartbreak / by Alexandra Fox

I thought I was in love...

What does that mean, exactly? 

I believed: I could spend my life with this person. I thought: I could dedicate my life to making this man happy. I felt: nothing could be as important to me as loving and caring for him.

And he was not the dream. 

If I could choose, I would choose comfort, security, stability. And with him, there would be none of that. I would always be working, we might never be rich. And it was OK. It would all have been okay, because, I thought, I loved him.

When will we - any of us - find one to love as we love them? Is this a fantastic dream we've invented after so many centuries of fiction, so many decades of cinematic romance? Are we really only to find happiness in ourselves? Is the loving and breathing of one soul in two bodies a myth? Can we really only be whole in ourselves?

I promised to build a new world for us two -----
And you?

Will you love me the less for loving you more?

- A.