S- calls its quits on her latest foray: marriage. / by Alexandra Fox

S- and I at the edge of the world, Cambodia. 2009

S- and I at the edge of the world, Cambodia. 2009

Last May, S- told me she was leaving her boyfriend (of 1yr.) and her PhD program (of 3mos.) for another guy. She was going to start a business with his family- a venture the two had abandoned by December, when they moved into our house. On Christmas, he proposed. By the new year, they were married. 

Yesterday, S- told me she and her husband had decided to "peacefully separate".

I was... taken aback, for one. I hadn't thought S- would be the type to enter into something like marriage lightly. I had been there for their vows, and I had taken them at face value: "I vow to spend the rest of my life with you...." she had said.

But after so many years with S-, watching her fall in love again and again (whether it be with a person, project, or place) only to move on abruptly after six months time to the next adventure - my overwhelming feeling with it all has been a familiar fatigue.

Earlier this morning, I wrote quite a bit about how I have tried most of my adult life to not be like S-, to stick with something, to follow through, to be dependable... everything I've always thought S- has never been. 

But in the critique I realized how far from a model my life is, how far anyone's life can be said to be an example of "how one should live".

And so, I've resolved only to say... I will continue to love S-, because I have long ago committed to always do so. And I am going to try, as ever, to find a way to live with S- as best I can. She will tell me she has "found her calling", and I will support her. She will tell me she was wrong, now she's really found the One - and I will be there, still.

And in case you were worried about my egregious insensitivity toward a woman who has just separated from her husband... I can assure you, there is absolutely nothing to fear. Any emotional suffering on S's part has long since been eclipsed by the happiness of novel prospects. 

S- has re-fallen in love with herself yet again.